Rachel Delisle | Motherhood, Faith, & Intentional Living

There are seasons of motherhood when your relationship with God might look different than you expected it would. That was true for me. I imagined quiet mornings with my Bible and a hot cup of coffee while by baby slept nearby. Instead, I found myself unable to focus on what I was reading, tending to the needs of a newborn from the moment I woke up, and ending each day completely exhausted.  Some days, reading a single verse felt like a major challenge. I would read and re-read over and over again, unable to process what was right in front of me because I was so focused on the baby in my arms.  Prayer became scattered thoughts whispered while washing bottles or folding onesies.  Worship became silent drives to and from the grocery store, mentally thanking God for a few moments of calm.  My relationship with God felt so different than it did just a weeks prior. I felt worn out spiritually.  If you've ever felt spiritually dry in motherhood, you are definitely not ...

There's a quiet kind of shock that comes after the birth of a baby.  In the midst of immense happiness and soul-deep love, feelings of w ho am I?  and what am I doing?  set in. Days start to blur together, mornings become unstructured, and by the evening it starts to feel like a whirlwind of exhaustion and chaos. The hours and days pass by, both fast and slow at the same time, and life becomes a list of  When did I last feed her?  Is he due for a diaper change?  Have I eaten today? Trust me, I've been there.  It can become so easy to just get through  and repeat the same thing day after day, and before you know it, weeks have passed and nothing has changed. That same bone-deep exhaustion and emotional overwhelm overrides almost everything else, making it challenging sometimes to focus on the beauty of the postpartum season.  I remember thinking,  I don't even know how to process all of this. I need something tangible to hold onto. Not a ...